


Sithly Tendancies

by Herald_of_Dreams



Series: Star Wars Tales [11]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-02
Updated: 2013-06-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 17:17:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/826805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Herald_of_Dreams/pseuds/Herald_of_Dreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written in 2005. Part One of the 'Tendancies' quad. Humorous countdown of the events of Return of the Jedi, Darth Vader style.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sithly Tendancies

**Day 1** : Emperor has assigned me to the _Executor_. Old bat thinks somebody will try to take down shield generator. Is stupid enough to think that he has control of me. Won’t have to deal with him much longer, heh.

 **Day 2** : Maybe Emperor not so stupid. Bunch of Rebels trying to get to shield generator. Heh, maybe I will get reward for blowing up shuttle.

 **Hour 1** : Wait! Luke’s on there! The idiot! Why is he coming here? Maybe not blow up ship might blow up son too. Decided instead to take them out on my own.

 **Hour 2** : Emperor not convinced. Kriffing idiot thinks I am imagining my son’s presence. Not that stupid. Will leave anyway.

 **Hour 3** : Maybe not. Discovered force lightning has bad effects on armor. Might be the electricity.

 **Hour 4** : Dumped in bacta with mask, glowered at stormtrooper who was laughing at me. Not impressed, so I choked him for lack of respect.

 **Hour 5** : Waiting for Luke. Troopers are laughing at me because of bacta tank; killed all of them. Who’s laughing now?

 **Hour 6** : Luke showed up. Took lightsaber, got dirty look from Luke when I ordered for his friends to be found. Noticed that he needs a haircut. Will order that after turning him.

 **Hour 7** : Stubborn boy. Did he get it from me? Nah. Must have gotten it from his mother. Second-guessing marrying a senator; makes children too defiant.

 **Hour 8** : Tried to get him to fight. He attacked Emperor. I saved him, don’t know why right now. Found out he has twin sister. Who is she? Kreth, I tortured my daughter!

 **Hour 9:** Enraged Luke. Yipe! You’re not supposed to kill me, you’re supposed to kill the Emperor! Ahhh! Phantom pains in fake arm real, hate getting arm taken off.

 **Hour 10:** Saved son, felt lighting for second time in a day. Not fun. Luke saved me, tried to take me off Death Star. Not happy with this, tried saying that he’d saved me already. Dead now.

 **Afterlife:** Found out death is fun. Nice to irritate Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon again. Made Yoda mad already. Will be having fun again. Waved at Luke, he grinned like an idiot.

 **Few years later:** Found out Luke married Mara Jade. The Emperor’s Hand. Not too happy. Told her if she hurt Luke I’d haunt her for the rest of her life. Am enjoying my sithly attitude in afterlife. 


End file.
